Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
