You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
