I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
