Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
