I wish I could punch you in the face.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
