you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
