i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
