Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
