Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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