What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he thought i was a dude.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Send help, water and tortillas.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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