It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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