Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Boobs are out for the taking
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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