Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
two words: eviction party
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
