??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
