am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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