I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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