Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry queenofpa hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

Fav 14 1107 3770
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

Fav 28 944 6429
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

Fav 36 7519 1310
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So for us it's double that?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Precisely.

Fav 33 5328 1043
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

(313): View more from Michigan

He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

Fav 23 8108 1287
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..

Fav 12 2513 1171
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality

Fav 8 1183 2480
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(909): View more from California

I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.

Fav 0 551 403
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)

Fav 0 144 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT