fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
