hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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