S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You left your phone here
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