You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
