im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize