yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize