Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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