I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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