Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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