The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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