her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
