He kissed a someone with a penis
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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