Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
