i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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