my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
