I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
