Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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