She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
