When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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