nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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