I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
