im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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