i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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