I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
