I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
