how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
