We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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