real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
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You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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