nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
