If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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