I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize