Don't you send me to vm
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
