Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
