The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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