Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
