Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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