i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize