is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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