Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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