Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
