Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
