she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
