What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
