oh god the rape fog is back!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
