Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
